Fool's dream

Letting your imagination run wild is the worse thing to do. i was a fool to think things would be this great, overcoming so many hurdles just to be each other's half. All a girl has is her manipulation, take that away and she is naked, in front of you with nothing to fall back on but the depths of despair.

Uncertainty.... frail and vulnerable. I am naked and bruised.

"don't do anything stupid" i hear?

who understands me but my own mind fabricating lies and retelling a story only to emotionally stab me more. pain. this is my way of getting over it.

except now i gotta think about pole....how am i to do my lifts and hold my body weight up with an open sore....

thank goodness for pole...

one of my idols....

so my ex called the other day....

has ur ex ever called at the perfect moment in time when your all sad and alone and no one to turn to? it was like he sensed i needed somebody to confide in and lean on. do you ever think maybe there might be a reuniting of hearts once again? too bad i wasn't in the mood for his confiding and cut him off before he dug too deep and found out the truth. stricking when im vulnerable and no i have never thought of reuniting with him coz the past stays in the past and you cherish each day with the people you have around you coz you never know when they'll leave your life forever...

those movies...

have you ever been in a situation which was so much like a movie scene where your bawling your eyes out on the couch, hurt by love and frightened about the future or a picture perfect moment in the dark infront of a lake with the cameras circling around you as you stare into the one you love. Movies and series are based on real life experiences and they replay the best or the worst of us. It makes you feel not so lonely when your in those situations knowing its happened to others but also kodak moments aren't as special until you reminisce.

Change

Society is cruel to those who are different. For many years I have known to have friends is to hide your faults from he world and replace with a new face yet being the stubborn loser I am, I chose to stay natural. My stubbornness wasn't the reason. Its my inability to learn from my mistakes and Change to be a better person. In series and movies they say to love yourself and someone will love you but it's not always rainbows and butterflies with a happily ever after. Thus I have come to the conclusion that although I have close friends who will stick by me at all times, I've decided maybe it's time I tried harder to be more likable and approachable and selfless. A time for change

guys do not have the right to PMS

the PMS excuse is used too widely for women and MEN. i mean i use it during the appropriate time of the month but men ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT use that excuse. i get that theres times when ur just having a shit day but BLAME IT ON SOMETHING ELSE! not PMS

blank

like my thoughts as each possibility whizzes past me without a second of consideration.

gravity is pulling us away. neither able to extend the arm long enough to fully grab hold of what they truly want. test taste is more than enough for you yet i want more...

Thailand pills.... trust them! ditch them?

expectations high... dreaming of a fairytale which will never come

scattered thoughts

These couple of days has been hectic with all the assignments due one after another... now up to my last 1, i cant concentrate...
i keep wondering, what do i expect from him? why do my feelings of disappointment override those happy memories together?
I keep pushing it to go back to how we used to be but every time im willing to let go of what happened, something goes wrong and yet again... disappointment
Is it just me or him?
maybe i've been disappointing myself
like not starting the mgmt assignment earlier! wasted all last night and now =.= overwhelmed.
so much to do with uni i feel im drowning causing me to have disjointed thoughts like the scatter graphs i made for the stats project due yesterday =.=

moral of the story: don't talk it, do it.